The mind is an interesting place.

I've had the opportunity recently to be in the company of a ton of creative minds who are also pretty accomplished. It was staggering to say the least. I feel like I've been coming into my own as a writer recently and that has been wonderful. Making strides in writing on schedule, outlining in more detail than a quick jot or two, researching settings and ideas and branching my reading selections far out of my norm have all helped me grow.

However, there is no feeling like sitting down at a table with people who are in the midst of living your, and their, dream. These people who have been fully published, travel for their work and received any number of awards that are received because of the quality of their work just couldn't be overlooked. To me, sharing a drink and conversation with that group of people was an honor, a privilege and was very nearly enough to knock me into silence. Usually I'm able to be loud, opinionated and unafraid of joining in any conversation with any group I'm with which makes me happy and is a core part of my person. However, there was a point in time while I took a drink of my beer as I listened on to the flurry of topics and conversation going on that I felt intimidated. That I wasn't quite accomplished enough to speak up and should instead just sit back and take in what was going on before me.

That's a brand new feeling for me. Most people who know me could attest that I'll join into a conversation whether or not I end up sounding stupid. I like the back and forth that a natural conversation can inspire in a group of like minded people because it's so rare. Like being in the eye of a storm where there is a perfect ebb and flow, nothing spirals apart and ideas are shared without being casually contested then thrown away. So I took in the feeling of being...a midget surrounded by giants and let it run its course for a few minutes. I say a few minutes because that is how long it was until my brain went on autopilot, ignoring my apprehensions, and delved into a topic of which character would best another, what the scenario and rules would be and other microcosmic stipulations.

That feeling lingered in my mind as the group broke up for the night and we all went our separate ways towards home. I imagine it always will when I'm able to join a group of people who are further along this twisting and turning road of creativity and expression. However, I'm glad that my instincts were able to fight away my minds fears and show a bit of my personality to that eclectic group of people. And I'm likely to keep the feelings of being honored and privileged for quite some time because it's such a rarity that I get to enjoy that kind of situation. I was already set on this being my career before that night but now I feel galvanized to continue. These people are all from Topeka and have all been able to realize the dream and that helps confirm that I can do it too. It'll be a long road but it's not an impossibility. Just have to keep moving and hope that one day I can inspire the feeling in others that a few hours of beer and conversation with that group inspired in me.

Till next time!

Back in the saddle

I talked about meeting with people somewhat recently to share my work. That's going well for me but I'm still hoping for headway into any kind of publication. Until then, I'm going to use this post to share the poem they've all enjoyed the most.

EDIT - I didn't realize when I posted this that I hadn't cut off the second poem. Apologies for that and I've broken them into separate pieces so you enjoy them both!

Standing on top of the world

Lights flashing, cars moving

People bustling from place to place without a care

Never stopping, constantly in motion

I can finally see my life for what it is

To the left of me lies the past

Covered windows, children crying

Being abused, both mentally and physically

Yet I still see hope and determination

Strength to rise above what they're expected to become

To become a better person, a better man, a better father

In front of me lies an outline, a blueprint of things to come

A path yet to be blazed, with two distinct possibilities

I can see the break in it, with two separate directions

One leading back towards the left, to become what is expected of me

And one to the right, towards bright lights emanating change

And to the right is a path covered by brightness

Sight seen, yet sight unseen

There will be a change here, a leap from the pain

This path leads towards the ultimate reward

To the final fulfillment of a boyhood dream

I began to walk down that path today

Towards change, a new beginning

Finally, fully, accepting that I could escape my past

By taking a leap of faith

By embracing my future

-----------------------

Suspension of disbelief, a second held in the hands of time

Faith restored by one action, a simple wave.

Fingers twirled once

Eyes dance with dreams of things to come

Dreams of time spent together, no longer alone

To her, it's only a simple gesture

You're someone close to the heart, to the soul

The wave is simple to her; a gesture

Compared to the feelings curling inside of her, thoughts in her mind

You've found the inimitable

Love has come; it has broken the anger, the hate

With a simple wave, a second in time, hope is alive again

The second passes, time releases its hold

Fingers close into a fist

You walk to her, feet powered by raw emotion

You are hers, she is yours

It's hope, forgiveness, patience, and acceptance.

Love is your religion.

Love is faith. 

Till next time.