These past few weeks have been...something! Been trying hard to stick to the resolutions I set for myself (like most people in January) and settling into this new schedule. It's been a bit of an adjustment to try and make everything flow together and I'm still working on the kinks of the whole thing but I'm enjoying myself and the challenges. I got to see a large group of people I hadn't in a quite a big chunk of time this past weekend and that was great. Enjoyed some casual conversation, good laughs and drinks. It was a pretty odd experience to take a seat later in the evening and realize that we aren't getting any younger.
I posted that on my Facebook not that long ago. That I was reminded we're all getting older. I've talked about it, both vaguely and more direct, in a few posts so far. However, it's one thing to say and another to see in motion. It's not remotely a bad thing (you're as old as you feel!) but when it's noticeable in front of your face it can hit you like a cold burst of water. It doesn't even feel that long ago that I was roaming the halls of school acting like a stupid, punk kid. Now it's all about bills, work, relationships and all of the other things aging brings to your attention.
Not that I'm getting anywhere close to advanced age or anything like that. It's just something I never really kept too much of an eye on that has now jumped in front of me and is forcing me to take notice. With that in mind recently I've been trying to collect all the various things I've written from all of my journals and computers to put onto one central space. Ideally, I'd organize them after cleaning up any prose, form, grammar or plot mistakes and get everything looking good to send out. I've started work on that front on my main PC and it's going great! I sent out some samples recently and got the first batch back around the beginning of the month. The few short stories were looked at, covered in red pen and sent back to hit the drawing board again. However! The poetry I had kind of just thrown in? Was labeled as close to perfect as I was likely to make it. And compared to Robert Frost to boot!
That has been a lightning rod for my bits of courage and inspiration to shoot at. This bit of work I had just thought would be demolished is highly complimented? I -am- doing something right! Not even a year ago I would've been too timid to share my work as openly as I have been. Then last year happened and a little bit of stubborness and the want to be bold hit me and I sent out all this stuff. I was nervous about doing it, worried while it was away being reviewed and a bit terrified to open the letter containing all the editted work. It took me a couple days but now I feel like I can, and should, move forward more and more. Who would've thought that growing up would entail years as hard as the last and that it would foster courage and help me move on and take more risks.
I'm sad that these things had happened in 2012 but I'm glad that there was a silver lining, of a sort, for me to find. I'm going to continue to write and send it out for people to see and my fear be damned! I want to do this for my family and myself. I hope that everyones 2013 starts great and is filled with opprotunity! As corny as it can sometime sound you can, and should, seize the day!
Till next time,
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